


The Loss Of It All

by Entireoranges



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Boat crash, Decided to post all at once, Desert Living, F/M, Gen, Green Magic, I suck at tagging, Jaime and Brienne have kids ... several of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-24
Updated: 2021-02-24
Packaged: 2021-03-13 16:21:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 12,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29281380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Entireoranges/pseuds/Entireoranges
Summary: It took Jaime losing everything to become the man he was destined to be.
Relationships: Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Jaime Lannister/Brienne of Tarth
Comments: 1
Kudos: 40





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I started this ... I have no idea when if I'm being honest. I got frustrated, lost inspiration, and let it sit in my documents. I like what I had and really wanted to finish it. So here we are! The idea came from a braime fic prompts on tumblr, something along the the lines of Jaime and Brienne are stuck on a desert island. It might have been more detailed then that, though that's the gist.

“I really did think we said no more.” She manages to get out before throwing up the food as he had begun to clean up their morning meal. Blackberries and frogs. Like every morning. Jaime smiles.

“That is somewhat difficult when I so love fucking you and there is no moon tea to consume. I do suppose I could cut off my dick, but what fun would that be for anyone? Plus Wench I have already lost a body part. I have no desire to do that again. I mean if I had too perhaps merely a toe? But I must draw the line at my cock.”

Brienne rolls her eyes and began to clean up as well, of her sick, likely praying that smelling it would not cause the act to play out once more. This was the worst part of being with child, she swore with each pregnancy it became worse. From outside she could hear the children (at least some) screaming, playful sounds expanding from their lungs as they enjoyed the morning light and each other's company.

“If I could trade places with you I would.” Jaime gives her sympathetic half turn of his lips. 

“I’d love to see you carry a child and push it out, Jaime.” She tells him with a laugh.

“I never said I’d birth it.” Just as she is about to argue his logic when a cry from the wooden bassinet fills the space allowing her attention to fall towards it instead of on Jaime. Her heart swells as he bends down and scoops their soon-not-to-be youngest into his arms kissing her cheek.

“Mah.” She babbles an attempt at language and continues to cry, screeching out desperate for Brienne’s hold. From the moment she came to the world this one preferred the touch and sight of her mother far more than her father.

“I’m here baby. I’m here, Tessa.” Jaime knew better than to try to hold her any longer, he could swear her screams could be heard from one end of the island to the next. Brienne sits down in the rocker which Jaime built her during the first pregnancy and lifts up her shirt, and cradles her daughter in her arms. Tessa immediately begins to suckle at her mother’s breasts.

Jaime watches for a few breaths, always marvalled by the sight of tenderness on display, and grateful that Brienne always had a way to provide nutrition to their children. He soon catches Brienne’s eye, they give each a tiny nod before he exits allowing the two of them some privacy.

“Hey pa! I’m a lion! Roaaaarrr!” He chuckles at his second born son as he comes running up hands out in claw-like formation ready to pounce. He reminded Jaime much of Tommen. His looks, personality as well. An innocent quality surrounding him that one forever wished to protect. Jaime feels that way for all his children, yet somehow this was different.

“Oh no! Help me! I’m gonna be attacked by a lion!” His son’s face suddenly turns serious and he drops his hands.

“It’s ok pa. It’s just me, Duncan!” Jaime manage not to laugh at how ridiculous and almost stupid the entire exchange is. Instead he sighs way too dramatically and ruffles Duncan’s hair, patting him on the head.

“Well that’s a relief to know. But you do know that you are a lion right?” Duncan nods.

“Because I’m a Lannister. And that’s our house sigil.”

“That’s right. Where is everyone else done off to?” The only response he receives is a silent shrug representing both I neither know or care before walking past his father inside of the house Jaime and Brienne fashioned together five times now. Harsh and cruel rains were the reasons for the repeat reconstruction. Jaime always kept a quick prayer ready on his mind that this summer season which is coming soon there would not be a sixth build. At least this go around he’d have a few assistants who could actually follow instructions; when it pleased them to do so that is.

Jaime walks down the path a few further paces when he encounters (and almost falls into) a circular hole dug out of the earth. 

“Galladon!” He bellows out fiercely. He, Brienne too, had lectured him time and time again of creating these which only seemed to provide entertainment for himself and twisted ankles for his family members.

“I was about to fill it back in when Arthur called me over to help him at the waterfall.” Galladon appears at Jaime’s side almost immediately, an excuse (as always) escaping at record speed from his lips. He even bats his eyelashes a few times. Working that charm since before he could walk. So much like his father Brienne would mutter; at times a compliment often not a low insult. 

“You are too old for these...games.You are never to find what no longer exists.” 

“It’s not a game father. I shall find Brightroar, our family ancestral sword.’ Jaime raises a single eyebrow. ‘It was lost as sea, you and mother were almost lost at sea perhaps the Seven intervened to save you, bringing you here to this island; the same place the sword crashed upon its shores years ago?”

“As I have told you many times before it’s a nice idea Galladon but that sword is not here.”

“Do you have evidence it’s not here pa?”

“Do you have evidence it is here?”

“No, but I will when I find it!” Jaime rolls his eyes, still he gives his eldest a soft smile. No doubt in Jaime’s heart Galladon was born with a silver tongue, quick wit, and personality to charm the spots off of a cow. Perfect pieces for a role in political life. The type of life Jaime could barely tolerate. 

“Please just be more careful. I don’t wish for more injuries and do doubt anyone else desires the same. Especially your mother because…” Jaime trails off. Neither had shared the knowledge that there was yet another babe growing in her womb.

“I promise I shall be. And I really was preparing to fill it back in. I simply became distracted.” Galladon drops down and begins to push the pile of dirt sitting by the hole keeping his promise. 

“Thank you. Wait, you said Arthur was by the waterfall?!” Jaime’s heart begins to pound, he didn’t feel at ease having one so young and full of unworldly energy left unattended in such a precarious spot. The others knew of this too.

“Yeah, but don’t fret Joanna is with him.” Galladon reassures him, almost as if he senses his father unease. Jaime’s heart calms. Without an exchange of words or even looks between them Jaime continues his trek down the path, strolling at a calm and collected speed, having nothing on the agenda for the day. 

The weather at this time of day always seemed to be at peak perfection. He can hear Joanna, her voice sharp, full of annoyance; likely scolding her young brother and losing her patience in the process. When Jaime hears a shrill followed by a resounding no his theory is confirmed. He considers heading towards the falls, instead turns the opposite direction and onto the other path they created. If bad enough or if her cool was completely lost Jaime felt that Joanna would allow that to be known. 

Brienne had been correct, while carrying Tessa they agreed, almost swore an oath with one another that the number of children they had now were more than enough. It was becoming selfish to keep producing children when they were stuck here, forever alone on this island. 

It no longer is simply an island, it was home. There were plenty of berries and other plant life that were edible. Jaime chuckles at the memory of the first time himself and her argued who would try the yellow and white dotted berry, both had been secretly convinced it would be poisonous. She eventually called him a woman and popped a handful into her mouth. It is now one of their favorite berries to partake in. 

Along with the plants and the plethora of fish, the island has a few bird species, small game such as rabbits, and what seemed like a never ending supply of frogs. It took him less time than he suspected to get over the loss of red meat, a nice thick and juicy steak from his diet. Circumstances caused him to adjust, if not he would not have survived. Neither one of them would have. 

Jaime looks around in confusion for a brief moment as his feet step into water. So lost in thought he made it to the shore line, waves of the ocean crashing around him. He holds still and looks out at the endless water, the creator of his faith. And how he at last became the man he was proud to be. 

_ “Ser! We’re taking on water!” _

_ “Get every bucket you can find!” _

_ “Anything not essential is thrown overboard!” _

It was he who had convinced Brienne to charter a small shipping vessel, holding a crew of nine men, as well as three women. Himself and Brienne rounding out the journey at fourteen souls. After the turmoil, physically and emotionally thanks to the likes of Lady Stoneheart and those who praised that dead woman he had been ready to pretend for a few days he had no responsibilities or cares. Act as if for a bit longer he did not have to face Cersei and choke on more of her lies.

Cersei. He banished her from his thoughts years ago. She had no right on this island and this life he cherished. If she was still living or dead Jaime cared neither way. And for all he cared the whole Kingslanding, all of Westeros could even have burned and all that remained are the ashes never to sustain life one more. The things they, he, used to fight and kill for Jaime soon understood the utter stupidity of it all. 

_ He had awoken with his nothing but his small clothes on, laying in front of a strong fire. He could not recall his head pounding more fiercely than it was on that day, he was almost afraid to move, to speak. At last he groaned and attempted to sit up, hit by a wave of nausea and he slumped back down with a soft thud on the sand. _

_ “You’re awake.” Brienne appeared somewhere from behind him, staring down at him. There had been a gash over her left eyebrow. _

_ “Barely. We crashed?’ Jaime had planned on making it a statement, instead it escaped as a question. Brienne nodded. ‘That’s great. What happened to my clothes?” He mumbled, again attempted to sit up. Still unsuccessful.  _

_ “I was worried about you catching fever. They are drying now.” Brienne waved toward a second, smaller fire Jaime had failed to take note of until that moment. Above the flames she had erected a drying rack with the help of a few broken tree limbs, hanging off of it were a collection of clothing. Far more then which he had been wearing previously in the day. He turned up to Brienne raised his eyebrow silently inquiring what the circumstances were.  _

_ “We were the only survivors.” There was barely any emotion in the words or on her face. Jaime had thought if she delivered news such as this before oaths sworn to Lady Catelyn and the creation who was once the same, perhaps Brienne might have shed a tear.  _

_ “Oh.” He managed before he threw up, coughing on the bile. _

_ “Of the bodies that washed ashore I removed their clothes.’ She continued ignoring his sickness. ‘It’s not like they’ll need them and we may.” _

_ “Good thinking Wench. May I have some water?” _

“What are you doing pa?” Duncan came running at a full clip towards Jaime. He catches him expertly with his lone hand and swings him up onto his shoulders. Duncan giggles joyfully.

“Just thinking.”

“About what?”

“How lucky I am. How lucky we all are.” 

“Do you ever miss it, pa?” Duncan asks after they had a comfortable amount of silence of just watching the waves.

“What are you curious if I miss?”

“Do you ever miss your life before this? I mean before the island.” Jaime takes a hold of Duncan’s arm and lifts him off and back to the ground.

“No.”

“Not even all the Lannister gold?” Jaime gives him a look, stopping himself from smirking.

“What is with you and your brother and the obsession of gold, wealth, and ancient swords?’ Duncan shrugs in response falling to his knees and begins to play in the wet sand. ‘But the answer is no, I don’t even miss the gold.”

“I would.” He proclaims matter of factly. 

“Perhaps yes, perhaps no. There are really far more important things than wealth and status. One of my regrets was that it took me so long to have a clear understanding of this.”

“I guess. Pa?”

“Yes Duncan?”

“Do you ever think we’ll leave?’ He pauses for a second swirling a random pattern into the sand. ‘I do love it here but...sometimes I think leaving would be nice?” The idea of Duncan, or any of their children having their entire existences seemed in complete isolation cut off from the world was something Jaime and Brienne have discussed and feared. Though moon tea was not to be had she had asked him if she wanted to find a way to rid the child when she became pregnant for the first time. Not wanting to subject their child to essentially a prison. The sole reason Jaime said no was because he feared she’d end up killing herself alongside the babe. They soon realized they had to live their lives and do the best they could.

Still as Jaime peers down at Duncan he understands his children need more than what he and Brienne can ever give them here. A few books by a miracle from the Seven had washed ashore in the days following the wreck. They each had been read a thousand times at least. They both taught them the history; best they could recall, of the Seven Kingdoms along with other lessons. Brienne fashioned tourney swords for each child as soon as they could grasp onto something. It soon won’t be enough.

If not on the Island Jaime knows by now Galladon would be reaching the age where conversation if he wished to squire or not would be taking place. If a conversation at all happened, the Jaime of old more likely would have made the decision on his own, end of story and shipped his son off not to be seen again for a few years.

Betrothals as well would be a hot topic soon, especially for the eldest two, again at that age where these things simply took place. At least they’d have someone even for the sake of an alliance and nothing more. There were no options for them here. 

“I hope so. But I’m not sure how. It hasn’t happened yet.” Jaime finally answers and confesses. 

“It’ll be nice to.” Duncan stands to his feet and runs off once more. 

_ “We need to make shelter.” Brienne announced that evening, his headache, nausea at last gone. She stood from the dwindling fire and walked towards the woods. _

_ “What is the point, Wench?” He called after her and seized her movement and turned back to face him. _

_ “For some place to sleep, covering from the rain, if it might come.” _

_ “I know what a shelter is. I am enquiring as to why waste our time and energy to build something we shall not need. I’m perfectly satisfied with sleeping under the stars for a few nights. If it happens to rain we’ll discuss that then.” _

_ “Ser. It might take longer than a few nights for anyone to come. And besides shelter, in the morning I think it best we explore around. Get a lay of the land.” Jaime laughed out loud, taking a sip of the boiled ocean water she prepared for them both. Now it was lukewarm at best, and far more tolerable to his tongue. _

_ “If you wish your time on these ventures go ahead my Lady. They will soon realize something is amiss and shall send a fleet of ships out to find us when we don’t return as scheduled. I can promise by the weeks end we shall be back on Tarth.” _

“Pa?” Jaime smiles at the sound of his daughter’s voice at a distant behind him letting the journey into his past seize to a close. He turns to Joanna and finds she’s not alone; in her arms she held Arthur with dried blood on his knee and dried tears on his face. He quickly clears the space and kisses first his cheek then his wound.

“You need to be more careful, my love.”

“That’s like asking the ocean not to be wet.” Joanna quips and pushes her brother to her father. Jaime gives no response, though she spoke the truth, as she always did without fail or fear of consequence of whom she may upset. A copy of her mother’s strong moral code and fiber. Never before had Jaime witnessed or been told tales of a child more full of energy and hyperactivity then Arthur held, who even now is starting to squirm from his hold, eager to run off once again to create more wounds on his flesh. Maybe perhaps another broken bone? He already suffered from two. 

“I almost got it pa.” He proclaims proudly.

“Oh? And what was that?”

“A magic rabbit!”

“For the last time there was no magic rabbit! There is no magic anything!” Joanna jumps in, hands on hips.

“There was too! It was glowing. I saw!” Jaime nods his head politely and at last puts Arthur back down, but takes a hold of the back of his shirt to prevent him from running off.

“He’s craven!”

“I am not!”

“That’s enough, both of you!’ Jaime hisses, looking up at the sun and the position in the sky ‘Come on let’s head back. Lunch should be ready by the time we arrive.”

“Hey Arthur, perhaps ma found your magic rabbit and that is what we are having!” Though he knew there was no way he could hurt her Jaime still kept his hold tight to stop Arthur from lunging at his sister.

“Stop provoking him to anger, Joanna. It’s not worth it.” She rolls her eyes and turns from them both, in direction to home. The three of them quickly come across Duncan picking some the beloved yellow berries into a wicker basket, announcing they were a gift for mother whom he decided as of late hadn’t been feeling good and wanted to cheer her up. Jaime thanks him for his kindness, before insisting he join them towards the hopeful awaiting lunch.

“She is having another one.” Joanna states, more so to herself then towards Jaime. There is a stoic glaze to her as her eyes fall to her younger brothers. Jaime knew much as Joanna loved her siblings and made sure they were safe, along with good natured teasing and goading them, that at times they put too much pressure on her shoulders. The same with Galladon. They were the oldest. There were no septas, servants, or anyone else in similar roles and positions to assist in the raising and letting off some of the weight and responsibility on all their shoulders. Far more than would have occurred if not for the Island.

“Yes.” He confirms and gives her a slight turn up of his lip.

“I figured. She has been getting sick quite often. She tries to hide it but ma has never been good at keeping secrets.”

“No, she has not.” Jaime responds with a chuckle.

“For a bit there I was nervous that maybe she had…’ Joanna both stops talking and walking. Jaime calls out to Duncan and Arthur to go on ahead without them. ‘you know the fever.” She finishes in a whisper.

“What? Oh no sweetheart.” He places a hand on her shoulder giving a slight squeeze. 

“I am aware it’s foolish but there are times it keeps me awake at night. Thinking it could return to take you or ma. The boys for that matter. Even Tessa. I don’t want to go through that again.” She jerks away from his touch and turns away, Jaime knows it’s because she doesn’t want him to know of the tears beginning to well up. 

“Neither do I Joanna. Losing the twins was the absolutely worst day of my life. But sometimes these things happen and we aren’t supposed to understand.” Jaime understood why. In his heart he lost his twins as a punishment from the Seven for the sins committed with his own twin. Brienne told him that was foolishness, the babies were already weak having been born almost a month prior to when they figured their arrivals to be; and when the sickness went from them one by one they were too young and weak to fight it. He knew though. 

“Worse than losing your hand?”

“Yes.”

“Worse than…”

“Joanna?’ He cuts in ‘I care not to play this game. Yes, losing my children was the worst thing I have ever endured. There is no pain emotionally or physically which begins to compare. Which is why I try my hardest to treasure every moment with yourself, your brothers, your sister, and the baby to be.”

“Sorry pa, I didn’t mean to upset you. I do have one quick question.”

“Yes?”

“Isn’t it a bit um soon? I mean Tessa is still practically an infant.”

“It wasn’t planned.’ Jaime confesses. ‘But we are joyful and happy regardless.” 

“Me too.” The tone tells him that perhaps that was not the full truth, he doesn’t question it. She rebegins the walk, he quickly follows ahead. 

His prediction on the status of lunch being ready had been correct; himself and Joanna are the last one to sit at the cramped table. Brienne slides the platter of fish over to them, he gives her a sympathetic smile as he notices her skin turn white and she swallows quickly a few times in succession.

Each pregnancy had been hard on her in different ways. At least they assumed what she had faced had been difficulties. Not having a Maester or anyone with real practical knowledge of these things they had no way to know what to consider normal and what to be concerned over. Himself was forced to keep a distance from Cersei for all her times she carried the children. Brienne herself had no memories of her mother or stories to recall when she carried her little sisters who lived a few days. 

This go around it seemed to be constantly being sick, every smell and taste an attack on her. Jaime remembers the last pregnancy when the nausea was seemingly this bad. With the twins. He pushes any ill thoughts aside; just because her symptoms were aligning did not mean this child growing in her would share the same fate. 

“Ma may I go back outside?” Arthur asks out of courtesy though he was already half out the door. 

“It is to rain soon. Please stay inside.” Brienne tells him from her rocker in the corner getting prepared to feed Tessa her lunch as well. The sky had been perfectly clear blue, but Jaime knew not to question her statement to their son, somehow over the years she had become in tune with this island and knew when rain or storms were coming even if no evidence showed in the atmosphere. 

“Please?” He whines, stomps his foot with an extra measure.

“Stop being such a baby! You’re not going to find it!” Joanna snarls at him, particles of fish flying from her mouth.

“Not this again.” Jaime mutters pressing his hand to his temple.

“Find what? I can help!” Galladon pipes up, eyes wide. Any excuse to dig more into the island he’d take it.

“Don’t get too excited there. He’s looking for a magic rabbit.”

“Cool!” Duncan says turning his attention towards his young brother ready for details. As the eldest themselves exchange looks and try not to laugh at the foolishness. 

“Just because you did not see it doesn’t mean it wasn’t!”

“Actually the rain won’t arrive for a bit. You can go outside now. All of you.” From her cutting tone the children knew better than to protest or to say anything at all. Joanna pushes the remaining lunch down and they all (with the exception of Tessa) tumble out the door. Jaime chuckles softly.

“We can never say life is boring now can we, Wench?” 

“I swear Jaime I feel they were brought to me, to us, to just test our patience.” He nods.

“Yes I get that impression too. But you love us. Don’t deny it.”

“I never would.”

_ “I...I...I love you.” He sat up slowly and turned towards her, only finding her back and not her face. He grinned. _

_ “You what?” His voice teased. _

_ “Don’t make me repeat it.” _

_ “Oh but I will. Say it again.” He scoutched over and placed a hand on the small of her back. _

_ “This is foolishness. I know you heard me. I’m not good at…” _

_ “Emotions?” Brienne shrugged at his suggestion. _

_ “Neither am I. Still I will say it. I love you, Brienne. If I had to be stuck on a deserted island in middle of fucking nowhere you’re the only one I’d care to have by my side.” At that she maneuvered from his touch, whipped her head around and glared at him. _

_ “You don’t have to lie. I know that’s not true.” _

_ “Which part?” She tugged at her hair, the longest he had ever seen it, perhaps the longest it had ever been. _

_ “All of it. I know I am not capable of being loved. Lest not in that way, the way I love you.” She whispered the final part, blushed. It made Jaime’s face hurt from the smile. _

_ “Yes you are. Gods you are. I am sorry I was a fool and didn’t tell you sooner. If you need to hear it once more here you go; I love you. Again? Fine. Brienne I love you.” _

_ “But I’m not the one you would prefer. I’m not...her.” _

_ “My sister?’ Brienne nodded ‘And thank the Seven not! I would have been dead the first week here. Likely sooner. Plus I do not have that love for her. Not anymore. I’m not sure when I truly last did. For you? I do.” _

_ “Forgive me, I just find that hard to believe.” _

_ “You will have to trust me. Simple as that. And I know that is almost equal to your struggle of expressing emotions.” He couldn’t help himself and threw back his head with a laugh. _

_ “Gods I hate you.” _

_ “Liar. I know you love me. You can not take it back. I shall not allow it.” _

_ “Jaime?” She spoke after a few moments of them staring into the dwindling fire. _

_ “Yes?” _

_ “This afternoon, when you had that fall, I knew it wasn’t that serious. We’ve faced so far worse here and on the main land. But for some reason…” _

_ “I lost my hand. Faced a bear. Fought a dead woman. Yet it was me tripping over a tree root and falling off a cliff for you to realize that you loved me?” Jaime’s voice once more had a soft playful vibrato. _

_ “No. I knew before today. But I realized if something had happened to you I’d regret not having said it. Here are so many things I regret that I didn’t do before we arrived here, things I fear I shall never be able to redeem. I don’t want my life here to be full of those same regrets.” _

_ “Say it again. Please.” She sighed and turned fully, her eyes locked into his. _

_ “I love you Jaime Lannister. Now go get more kindle for the fire.” He gasped. _

_ “What? You make the man you love, the man who literally fell into a waterfall, who came inches from cushing his skulls on the rocks get up?” _

_ “Oh shush. And move it. I’m getting cold.” _

_ “Whatever you say, Wench.” _

Jaime chuckles at the memory, a part of him desperate to relive it again. There were many moments here, with her, with the children he’d do again it were allowed. He could not say the same of his life before. 

“Jaime? Can you take her please?” There is an urgency in her voice and he quickly rushes over and takes Tessa into his hold just as Brienne releases the little of the fish she had just consumed at both their feet.

“I don’t dare to speak it out loud. But…” Brienne speaks softly, he is barely able to hear the words.

“Just tell me.” Never one for games. 

“I keep thinking of Selwyn and Serenity. Even before I knew another babe grew inside me. It’s not as if I don’t ever think of our children. Because I do. Just it’s different.’ She pauses and places a hand on her stomach which did not visibly show her true situation. ‘And everything I experienced with that pregnancy is repeating. What if the ending is the same?” Jaime places Tessa on the floor and bends down in front of Brienne, places a hand on her knee.

“I shall not lie. I have harbored similar thoughts. There is nothing we can do. It’s out of our hands.” He desperately desires to do more to comfort her. Have the ability to travel the entire realm to ensure her safety, to keep this child alive. The Jaime of before would have burned cities to the ground. The Jaime of before would have found fathering Brienne the beauty’s children absolutely craven. 

“I also fear my survival. It has been nothing short of a miracle that I have survived these many children and births. More so considering our situation…”

“The Seven have protected us.” It took him awhile for his faith in the Seven to build, over time it had. 

“I understand. I am grateful. But Jaime, it doesn’t take away my fear that something is not right. Either myself, this child, or both of us will not survive. And this thought terrifies me more than anything ever has.” At that she begins to weep softly. 

His mother. Five of his children. In times like these he considers those with Cersei in the equation. Even Joffrey. They were all his. And his mother, the only soul (besides Brienne, their children too) to ever truly and unselfishly love him. They were taken from. He would not allow the Stranger to take this woman from him. Least not while his lungs held air.

“Brienne…”

“Jaime,’ She cuts him off, tears still glistening. ‘You need to promise me if something is to transpire with me …”

“Nothing shall.” 

“Stop it. Even if it’s not in a few months time we need to face the reality that death is always lurking in the shadows. For us all. If I am to go before you Jaime, I need you to promise me you will be strong for the children. Don’t become trapped within yourself as I know you have a habit to do.”

“I am not like that anymore, Wench.”

“I have never died on you.”

“You won’t.” She clenches her eyes shut and slowly shakes her head, he notices she is forcing herself not to chuckle.

“Jaime. I know I am famously foolishly stubborn, but not even I can avoid certain fates. Please promise me, right here, right now, you will be here, physically and mentally for the children.”

Jaime leaps back to his feet, narrowly missing tripping over Tessa and begins to pace. Anger building in him. How could she act as if her death was a given? How could she sit there and ask him to accept it even before it occurred? His eyes narrow down to her midsection. He spoke of love, wanting this child; now he held only hate and disgust for it. If the option was her or it, then surely it would be the child. 

“It doesn’t work that way, look I don’t mean to upset you. Or give you the impression that I want this. Gods, I don’t. The idea of leaving you, the children scares me more than anything. But I will not lie to you Jaime, something is telling me that time on the Island is dwindling to an end. If not my death what else should it be? No matter what, you will not and shall not blame this child. Assuming it too does not follow to the afterlife immediately upon its arrival.” How she could so easily read and understand his thoughts at near every moment was equally a blessing and a curse. He seizes the pacing and takes a few breaths to settle himself. 

“I promise.” He at last speaks softly. Moments later the door violently yanks open and Galladon comes rushing in, out of breath. Eyes wide.

“Pa, ma. You both have to see this!” 

“Now is not the best time.” Jaime informs him, turning his attention away from him.

“Trust me you’ll want to see it! I don’t know how long it’ll remain.”

“What is it my love?” Brienne’s tone is gentle and patient.

“Arthur wasn’t lying. There really is a glowing rabbit!” Without saying anything Brienne pushes herself up, bends down scooping Tessa off the floor balancing her upon her hip and heads to the door, past Galladon who soon rushes ahead to lead her to the correct direction. With a confused shake of bewilderment Jaime begins to follow a few paces behind. 

At arrival they find not a rabbit of any sort, but instead Duncan in hysterics and Joanna’s face a mask of fear trying to console him best she could. Brienne instantly goes into a fierce warrior mother role and clears the distance to them both.

“Where did it go?”

“Where is Arthur?” Galladon and Jaime’s questions overlap each other. 

“He’s gone.” Joanna answers, to who her answer is for is left as a mystery.

“What do you mean?” Brienne asks as she gives Joanna her sister to allow her to easier to lift Duncan up.

“Arthur is gone. He started yelling about the stupid rabbit. I of course didn’t pay attention to his cravenness but then Duncan sped ahead and yelled it was true.”

“So we took off to follow. And there it was. Glowing and all.” Galladon jumps in to offer some help, Jaime can see by his face he’s nearly equally confused by what has happened since running to the house and back.

“Did this rabbit run off and Arthur chased it?” A clasp of thunder from the storm Brienne predicted sounds, Jaime groans; not in the mood to search for his youngest son in the soon to be pouring rain. 

“No.’ Joanna pauses before continuing to answer her mom’s last question. ‘He touched the rabbit and there was a puff of smoke and then they were both gone.”

Jaime’s mind scrabbles into a thousand and more directions and emotions. Glowing rabbits? His child vanishing? This had to be a poor attempt at a jab. However Duncan, with his continued cries even with Brienne’s soothing pats upon his back was completely out of character for him. If it had been a prank he would have broken and revealed the truth a while back. Also Galladon and Joanna, their eyes both kept Jaime in the belief that ridiculous as this appeared to be, something had transpired.

He saw a dead woman walk and attempt to speak again. Brienne shared in whispers after nightmares of a shadow killing a man. And among other things he could not understand and would have laughed at if a stranger approached him to share this information if he had not witnessed it himself. 

In all this time on this island, their little private home, nothing unusual had taken place. Why now? And where in the hell was his child?!

“Jaime, can you and Galladon go search for him?” Brienne requests of them. Jaime knows her, her thoughts, she is terrified and barely holding it together. She won’t show weakness unless absolutely necessary. 

“I’m telling you, he’s gone.”

“Yes, Joanna, but he had to have gone somewhere, right?’ She nods. ‘Your pa and brother shall find him.” Jaime reaches over and claps a hand on Galladon’s shoulder. 

“Come on. Hopefully we’ll find him before the rains arrive.”

“Please stay together.” Brienne calls out as they turn to begin the search and rescue.

“We shall. Take the children back to the house and stay inside and remain there until we return.” Jaime didn’t know what was happening, his only thought was keeping them safe.

“Of course. Be careful. Both of you.” He gives a quick nod and gesture to Galladon who gives a half smile, part excitement, part fear. 

He tries his best to keep his thoughts focused on good, that Arthur is safe, happy, and having the time of his life. The child seems to fear nothing, to him this was a grandest adventure he could ever imagine. Jaime doesn’t allow himself to examine the opposite side of this coin. The idea Arthur was in danger or far worse dead.

With another eruption of thunder and bolt of lightning the rain instantly drenches them both. The both of them at this point had covered approximately half the island, perhaps a bit less. On a good day it took Jaime four hours to complete the task. Though he rarely ever had a need or desire to do so. All the resources they needed were on this side. He did once a moon make a trip to the opposite shore and make sure their makeshift white flag and scribbled message on a smoothed piece of plank of their presence here on the island still stood erect in case help arrived from that side. 

“Pa? There is no way he would have made it this far.” Despite being an arm length apart Galladon shouts the words over the rain.

“We can’t give up.” 

“I’m...I’m scared.” He confesses, head almost hung in shame.

“As am I.” Jaime, never one to lie to his children.

“What do you think is happening? Why is it happening now? Was Arthur selected or …”

“Galladon! I can not answer what I myself do not understand.”

“Sorry. It’s just that …” He stops talking, Jaime watches his eyes grow wide as he focuses on something behind Jaime’s shoulder. He pivots slowly, heart beginning to fire faster in him. A gasp escapes as he sees it, the rabbit glowing just as the children had foretold to him. Without thinking he runs towards it, half expecting it to frighten off, magic or not it was still a rabbit and they were obnoxiously skittish creatures; no matter though he’d give chase after it. To his relief it remained in place, it seemed to be watching him.

“Be careful.” Galladon shouts having not moved to join his father. Jaime just nods, unsure what exactly he is to be careful about. He takes a few steps closer until the creature is pressed against his shin, looks back to Galladon.

“Go back to the house. Keep your mother and the others safe. I’ll return. Of that I swear.” Before Galladon can react or even respond Jaime leans down, puts a hand upon the rabbit and everything turns to black.


	2. Chapter 2

Jaime gasps and stumbles down to his knees as the light returns and he is hit with a wave of nausea. Everything is spinning. Same as his thoughts. Rabbit. Glowing. Missing…

“Arthur!” He bellows out, jumping up. His eyes narrow as they fall onto the crest of the Starks. 

“He is safe.” Jaime knew that voice, a voice in which he never imagined he’d hear once more. If to celebrate or curse this at this point he did not care to decide.

“Tyrion. What is happening?” He asks swirling around trying to see his brother, only finding himself alone.

“It was time. He did not mean to take the boy. He was too fast for us.” Foot falls sound, coming closer and closer and at last Jaime faces his younger brother, now not quite so young. Jaime can not help himself and begins to smile, washed over with relief as Tyrion does the same. Soon as he is near enough Jaime drops back to his knees and hugs his brother, beginning to cry. For the moment questions involving past sins and dishonor that scarred them physically and emotionally could wait.

“I never thought I’d see you again my brother.”

“For a while I did not either.”

“Please, tell me what is happening. How did I get here?” Jaime mumbles, as Tyrion laughs.

“I can imagine this is quite confusing. Come we have much to talk about. There is food awaiting for you, assuming your son has not eaten it all. Maester Glyphyre is making sure he does not over do it though. Saying it may be a shock upon his system. But he is quite stubborn…” Tyrion looks up and wiggles an eyebrow. Jaime shrugs with a smirk and follows his brother out of the room.

“Pa!” Arthur shouts, waving what looked to be a turkey leg in his hand.

“Are you ok?” He has to hear it from his son himself. Arthur nods, taking a large bite of the leg. Next to him who Jaime assumes is Maester Glyphyre groans and tries to take the food away. Arthur jerks away, taking another bite.

“Arthur, you need to slow down. Please.” He calls out, stepping towards a table spread with every type of foods, foods he nearly forgot existed, let alone tasted like. Tyrion hands him a tray. Trying to take his own advice he stops himself from total gluttony and forces himself to limit the selections. Tyrion directs him to a table in the far corner, at it sat someone in a wheeled chair with their back turned to the room and to Jaime. 

“You have returned from the dead.” The person speaks as Jaime lowers the plate down. His voice, he did not remember. He circles the table to directly sit in front of him and gasps. No longer the same little boy, a man grown now, but Jaime instantly recognized the face of Bran Stark.

“I could say the same for you.”

“I was never dead.”

“Nor was I.’ Tyrion nervously smiles back and forth at the two of them as he takes his seat, motioning for Jaime to do the same. ‘Before my eventful journey you were considered to be dead. I am glad to know those were just rumors.” Jaime offers sympathetically as he could muster. Years apart from everything, your past becomes a companion played back, the worst parts of yourself. Pushing a mere child from a tower to hide his sins was one that plagued Jaime more than all others.

“I suppose in a way I had died that day. Just as you died when the boat crashed.” Jaime cocks an eyebrow up, taking a forkful of pot pie to his mouth. He did not realize how much he missed something as simple as proper utensils and not those fashioned from branches.

“As I keep reminding you, I am very much alive. Always have been.” Bran stares forward, eyes blank, the lack of emotion causing a shiver to run up Jaime’s spine. He takes a note that Tyrion still has not relaxed yet.

“There are more than one sort of death. An emotional death and rebirth may at times be equal to the power of a physical death. Even more than fact would you agree?” Jaime nods slowly.

“Again I find myself asking what in the hell is happening? How exactly did I and my son get here?”

“I allowed it to be so.”

“You allowed it to be so? What is that supposed to mean?” Jaime bites out the words, annoyance reaching a level in which he did not care for. 

“You would not understand. You have paid for your sins.’ Bran looks up and locks into Jaime’s eye ‘it was time forgiveness.”

“Pa!’ Arthur calls out rushing for the table and climbing onto his father’s lap. Jaime kisses him on the top of his head.

“Fatherhood has calmed you.” Bran observes out loud.

“Pa? Where is everyone?” 

“Back on the island I suppose.”

“Can they come here too? Well not Joanna.”

“That’s not nice, Arthur.”

“Sorry.” Jaime gently pushes him off his lap and taps at the chair next to him, he takes the hint.

“Perhaps you can answer his question. And be warned the answer best be yes or be prepared to send us back immediately.”

“Yes, they may leave. But it won’t be an easy journey.”

“Jaime, they looked for six moons for you and any others. I held on hope for long as possible. Much longer than she…’ Jaime gives his brother a look, his son did not have to know of certain things. ‘Anyways something told me you lived though I had no way to prove it. And when Lord Bran came to me, told me what he knew...dear brother I was never happier.”

“Brother?” Arthur questions, trying his hardest to follow the conversation. Jaime silently and later he’d plan on telling Arthur how impressed he was handling this new situation, especially considering his entire world had been just the same few people only.

“Yes, Arthur. This my younger brother, Tyrion. I told you many tales of him. And of us when we were boys. Can you say hello?”

“Hello.” Comes out shyly.

“It’s nice to meet you Arthur. I trust that your pa told you the few and far between good aspects.’ Tyrion takes a pause, to give Jaime a slight turn of the lips. In turn Jaime rolls his eyes, not in the mood to dig up the past as if it were a treasure Galladon sought. ‘He says you have several more brothers and sisters too.” Tyrion gestures his head towards Bran who is once more staring out into the nothingness; Jaime could not explain why yet it made him feel quite uneasy. 

“That he does. There are not many forms of entertainment where we are. But how would he know …”

“He knows. He knows everything, Jaime. Of now, of yesterday, and of tomorrow. He knew you were alive. Did he not?”

“I would still like to understand how. More importantly how can I return?’ Tyrion sighs, shaking his head. ‘What?”

“You have been given a second chance dear brother. You get to start anew. No one now cares that you were once the Kingslayer …”

“Still am.” Jaime mumbles.

“As I said it matters not. Bran explained, he explained everything. And after the destruction of the Red Keep, along with half, if not more, of Kingslanding. People just grew tired of the shit and …’ Jaime drops his fork, Tyrion grows quiet.

“Our home was destroyed?” He asks softly. He had washed his hands clean of everything that did not reside on the island, but to hear and face the reality of what had happened in his absence was far harsher then Jaime thought it could be. 

“Nearly. But those of Kingslanding have always been strong. They rebuilt not only the structures but themselves as well. My dear brother you have missed the greatest battle. And when it was finally over and both sides came to realize they both lost far more than they gained...well things began to change.”

“If you had been there it would not have occurred. Least not in the way it had to transpire.” Bran enters back into the discussion.

“Who sits on the Iron Throne?” Jaime questions, ignoring the last thing he had heard.

“Nobody. It no longer exists.” He can not control himself and Jaime begins to chorkle loudly. Arthur looks at him full of discomfort.

“Please forgive me. But no one sits and rules any longer?!” Half his life lived defeating that blasted chair, he killed to protect it, even killed one on it, and now it no longer mattered?!

“I never said no one ruled. In fact each of the regions have their own respected leader, though we no longer use the term King. And everyone of those leaders report to one figurehead. Yes, it’s odd Jaime, and took a bit to get used to. But when people realized it was no longer a birthright privilege to decide their fates they got on board.”

“How are these leaders selected?”

“By voting. At least by the adults. Highgarden has done it twice, their first elected sucomming to death of illness; all others just the one time, thus far. And it’s not just the leader but rather every position.”

“There isn’t a King any more?” Arthur questions.

“I suppose there is not.” Jaime mutters, pressing his hand to his temple.

“And do tell me Tyrion, who is this central leader all report to?”

“That would be me.” Bran speaks up. Once more Jaime falls into a fit of laughter. He calms himself after a few moments. Taking a few deep breaths he turns to his brother once more.

“I dare not ask, yet I have to know...how did she take this change?” Tyrion shrugs.

“She did not live to see the changes. She, I am sorry to report, was in the Red Keep when it fell.” Jaime doubted the sympathy was genuine.

“I accepted her death long ago. It was a feeling I always held. But to hear of it, in such a way...” Jaime could not remember the last time he held any sort of sympathy for his twin.

“Is anyone more you wish to know of?” Bran inquires, the look in his eyes told Jaime he already knew the reply.

“Plenty, yes, but if I asked about everyone of my past I fear I’ll be here far too long and my Wench and my other children await for me.”

“You believe they are deceased.”

“Who?”

“Your children.” Jaime’s heart begins to race again. For multiple reasons, one being him not wanting Arthur to be privy to this information.

“Hey, can you do me a favor and get me some more of that chocolate cake?” Bran smiles and makes his request to Arthur, who without hesitation dashes off.

“Thank you for that,’ Jaime mumbles ‘Now what were you saying? Myrcella and Tommen, they live?!” He could barely get the words out.

“Yes they are alive. They are happy. It took them losing everything and having their fates ripped out from them to find that happiness. Much like you, is that not correct Jaime?”

“Pa? Why are you crying?” Arthur asks in a panic returning to the table the dessert tossed unceremoniously upon it.

“I suspect those are happy tears. Let’s give him space and time alone. Come take a walk with me and tell me of your brothers and sisters.” Tyrion offers gently, patting his brother on the knee as he stands up, then offering the same hand to Arthur who gladly takes it.

Jaime had told himself so many times over the passing of time that could be no way they could still be alive. He knew the world they were born into. He knew they were born with targets painted onto their skins and as they grew older the hues became brighter. Much as he wanted to protect them, his role as a constant absent uncle with his own target made that troublesome. Far as their mother went, yes Jaime knew she loved them, but if they got into her path towards power she’d willingly sacrifice them. That was what he told himself to the point in his mind it was nothing but truth.

Now they were alive. Healthy. Happy even. 

“They still do not know. Few do.” Bran breaks in softy.

“It’s for the best.”

“Just think it’s because of them, you with her, my innocent exploring that led us all here.’ Jaime only nods, he no longer was the same man who pushed anyone, especially children, from towers. Still memory and guilt burns throughout. ‘I for one am glad. It was a path I was destined to take.”

“Wish I could say the same.” Came as a mutter.

“If not for that your life would not have crossed into Lady Brienne’s. If not for that you won’t have been on that ship, with her, when it crashed. If not for that your children would not be born. See Jaime? It all connects. And there is a time for everything.”

“All of this is truly wonderful, I do thank you, still though...I want to return to her. To the children. And then maybe we all can come here together. As it should be.”

“That you shall, of this I promise.” Bran stops speaking, though Jaime senses he has more to say, more to revival.

“I am trying my hardest not to lose my patience here.”

“In two weeks time a vessel from Dorne will get caught in a storm, much as you were. And fate will allow it to land upon your island, on your home as prefer it be considered. Though it’s fate shall be kinder and it’s entire crew and the vessel itself shall remain in one piece.” Jaime finds himself crying once more. He didn’t even care to question how Bran could surely know anything of the sort. Still, he for some reason trusted him. 

“And Brienne, the children will be rescued?"

"Yes." Bran falls silent again.

"I wish to return to them. Now. By whatever magic or by whichever name you call that which brought myself and Arthur here I want it done again. Arthur…' He takes a quick pause, 'he may remain here in the company of my brother. I trust he will be safe."

"He would be, I must inform you if you were to return they will not survive, neither shall you." The lack of emotion causes shivers in which Jaime keeps in check.

"You just said they'd be rescued in two weeks! How can my being there make any difference?! Look, they are scared right now. Not for my disappearance but that of their brother's and of her son. And in her …." 

"Her child within her shall be fine."

"Thank the Seven for that." Said more as a private whisper.

"It is true the world in which you were forced away from has changed. There has been a peace in which I don't even think I could ever believe to be true. It has not been easy, Jaime."

"I would imagine not. I wish I had been here to see and experience it."

"Again, you were exactly where you needed to be. However though there is far more peace than imagined, it is not perfect. It never shall be. You, believe it or not, still have enemies…"

"Of everything you have told me, that is the first thing I find myself not questioning."

"Yes…or rather said enemies of your name, generation upon generation of hate unwilling to compromise or grow past it."

"It's a sad way to live and be."

"It is. Of the vessel that is to crash, on it's crew is one of those enemies…"

"Wait…" Jaime attempts to interrupt.

"If he were to lay eyes upon you. Realize who you are. Or, who you were; your life shall end. Long with hers and the children too."

"I don't understand...my children are innocent! They know nothing of any of this!"

"And I was an innocent child climbing a tower.' It felt like a slap to the face. 'Jaime, the children and Brienne are only in danger if you've seen. And since you've here…"

"If I return they will not survive…' He mumbles, Bran leans back and nods. 'You saved them. You saved me. Why? After what I did…"

"We are no longer those same people. I could only become the man I am now because of you. Plus your children shall have important roles to play. Some more pivotal then others." 

“May I ask what exactly that means?”

“You can ask anything you desire, just be aware I shall not answer or reveal anything to you.”

“Get used to it, brother. I am surprised he has revealed to you much as he has.” Tyrion approaches the table, Arthur still holding tightly onto his hand. Jaime chuckles at the sight, never having seen his son hold still and behave for such a long period. 

“I am grateful for what he has told me.’ He leans forward and scoops Arthur onto his lap. ‘Hey, it looks like it’ll just be us two for a short while buddy. Don’t worry, mama and your brothers and sisters will be with us soon. But for now it’s just gonna be you and me. Ok?” The joy and excitement drains from Arthur’s face, as he just stares down at the empty plate on the table.

“Is it because I was mean to Joanna?” His frail voice nearly breaks Jaime’s heart.

“Of course not!”

“Your father has a very special role to serve and that’s keeping his family safe. And you, Arthur, have a special job too.” Bran speaks up.

“I do?”

“That you do; you are to keep him company and stop him from being lonely. Can you do that?’ Arthur nods, his smile returning. ‘Good.’ Bran catches Jaime eye ‘As Tyrion told you upon arrival I did not mean to bring him, perhaps though it was supposed to be.”

“I know it was.” Jaime lowers his head and kisses Arthur upon his. Does it four more times for his four other children.

“What do you say we get you two to bed, for we have a long journey in the morrow.” Tyrion announces. 

“Where are we going?” Arthur inquires.

“To Tarth. By the time we arrive everyone will be awaiting for us.”

“I do apologize Jaime, I tried to get him to do the transportation trick he has, the one that brought you here, but he says the journey the traditional way shall be good for your soul. Though I still fail to understand why we have start from so far away…”

“He knows why.”

“I’ve spent nearly every day reflecting on my past, conversations, lies, oath made, and oath broken. I have helped dench the lands in blood. But I understand if you think me traveling once more to see these places, remember these deeds, that I shall.”

“Not everything in your life was bad.” Bran for once as true emotion in his tone. Perhaps he was truly human after all; Jaime thinks with a smirk. 

“My life didn’t begin until I came to the island. And my life is on a pause until everyone on it is back with me.”


	3. Chapter 3

_ “We aren’t married.” The words passed so quietly from Brienne that Jaime had been unsure she had said anything at all and he was just hearing voices in the fierce wind once more. _

_ “Pardon?” _

_ “Married. You and me.” Now she was at full volume, but won’t look at him. _

_ “No, I’m fairly sure I’d remember that Wench. Why does that matter?” _

_ “It’s just…’ She let out an anguished groan, leaned down and dug some dirt up and throw it into the fire. ‘I don’t want to be like…” Before she could reach for more dirt Jaime approached her and placed a hand on her shoulder. _

_ “Will you just let it out already?!” _

_ “For Sevens sake Jaime I want you!’ She spun around so fast on the bench they had erected a little past week after their arrival that she nearly threw him off balance. ‘As in a way man and woman would be after marriage vows are exchanged.” _

_ “Oh. Oh!” Jaime had begun to smirk. _

_ “Don’t you dare make fun of me!” _

_ “What? I’m not! It’s just sometimes I forget how innocent you can be at times. I personally find it adorable.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek, the one with the scar, the one she hated, but the one he loved. _

_ “I know it’s silly that I care about traditions such as that. But I do.” _

_ “It’s not silly Brienne. However unless I have lost the ability to count this place only contains of you and myself. So we can either respect your honor and wishes and remain apart for Gods only know how long, or we do what we both desperately desire and hope the Gods can forgive us. I personally believe they shall. Afterall they brought us to this place.” _

_ “Also…’ She went to turn away from him, he stopped her, forcing her to meet his eyes and a soft smile ‘I know if not for this place and this circumstance you’d never consider me worthy of…” _

_ “Bedding?” Brienne nodded, her shyness screaming all over her face. _

_ “Don’t speak for my heart or make assumptions on what I would or would not do. I have already told you I love you. Despite what you might assume I don’t throw that around to just anyone…” _

_ “I never thought you did.” _

_ “Good. Is it ideal? What you deserve? Gods no! But by the Seven I want you too.” _

_ “Why didn’t you say anything?” Jaime shrugged. _

_ “I was waiting for you.” _

_ “And what if I never...you know?” _

_ “Then I would have become an expert at pleasuring myself with my off hand an…” _

_ “Jaime Lannister!” He threw his head back with laughter. _

_ “Now you can’t play innocent with me on that front, Wench. I’ve heard you in the early morning when I go check the nets. Oh my, I do believe you turned a brighter red than the flames. Now, my lady I am not feeling tired, but I’d be honored if you join me and my sleeping area this evening. And every evening ever after.” _

Jaime awoke with a sigh, the carriage that carried himself, Artur, and Tyrion too, riding through the late hours. He finds Tyrion staring at him, trying to conceal a smile, Arthur stretched out on the bench, his head resting in his father’s lap, snoring softly and innocently.

“You miss her don’t you?”

  
“More than you’ll ever understand, brother.”

“But I do suppose that out there any cunt would have done…”

“Shut your mouth!” Jaime hisses. Not having felt an anger that intense engulf him in years.

“I didn't mean to upset you. But it’s the truth. No matter who it was, eventually natural instincts would have taken over.”

“No.” Tyrion continues staring at him. He won’t understand. He couldn’t understand. Brienne wasn’t just a random person he happened to be stuck with. She wasn’t a hot and available cunt as was just so carsly told to him. The Seven had chosen her from him, and himself for her. Jaime rolls his eyes and turns away to look at the scenery barely visible in the moonlight and the sped at which the horses were traveling along.

He doesn’t want to attempt to sleep again. It always ends the same, a bitter ache for her, for all of them. Is she thinking of me right now? Is she sick with worry but staying strong, switching into warrior mode to protect and shield the children? They’d play around and allow her to have the honor of the act knowing it made her happy if only a tiny bit. But when she was out of ear range they’d confess their fears with each other. At least Galladon and Joanna would. They’d be like their mother and be strong for Duncan. Tessa too. Little Tessa, Jaime wonders if she noticed or understood that two were now gone from her small world.

“At the rate we are going we will be there ahead of schedule, Jaime.” Tyrion tells him, his tone in such a way as an implied apology for what had transpired minutes earlier.

“It’s not soon enough.”

“I never thought I would find you in love with someone. A real love and not whatever you had with our sister. It looks good on you, brother.”

“Yeah it is...what of you? Has there been anyone? Well besides…” Jaime fades off, unsure what topics from the past that were not to be released from the crypts.

“No, but I’m happy.”

“I’m glad to know that. I really am. I thought of you often. Have I told you that you remind me of Galladon?”

“Oh? You never told me you had an imp…” Jaime roars out with laughter, stopping nearly as soon as it began, looking down at Arthur who stirred for a moment but remained in his slumber.

“No, no imps or giants if you’re wondering about that. Though I suspect by the time they are full grown all of them shall have at least a head on me. I was speaking of his personality. He’s a diplomatic, and always looking for the best angle. Charming as hell.”

“I assume that’s a compliment?”

“Of course.”

“What of the others? I like seeing your eyes light up when you speak of them.”

“Well, Joanna is Brienne through and through, but though my memories are faded and I’m not sure if I truly remember her face, I think she looks like her namesake. Joanna is full of sarcasm and an attitude that you think you’d hate, however you simply can not.”

“I did not know Brienne well, with that said that does seem to mirror her.”

“Duncan...he’s...blessed with an innocence and goodness that terrifies you. I have always told Brienne even before his first name day that he was born with the soul of an old man. I will tell you the truth; it's him I feared for the most being corrupted by life outside the island. I know having witnessed it myself the innocent and pure are either fed to the wolves or quickly fade. Or...far worse. You and I have both seen it.”

“Perhaps, if you returned to the world in which you left. Things are different though. I have a feeling he shall be just fine. Or at least have a strong chance.”

“I hope so. Gods I hope so. Honestly I’m nervous for all of them. We have tried our best to prepare them for life on the mainland. I like to think we did a good job with what we had. Will it be enough though?”

“Well if Arthur is anything to go off of I do say they’ll be fine. As for him, you don’t have to tell me who he is like. He is you Jaime, through and through. Though somehow more intense?” Tyrion offered into the conversation.

“Yeah I know. It bugs the hell out of Brienne.”

“I can imagine so. He even looks like you.”

“And Tessa is last?” Jaime shakes his head.

“Not exactly. We had two others. Twins.”

“Of course you did.” Tyrion gives a little laugh.

“Selwyn and Serenity. They only were with us for a few moons.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Thank you. Far as Tessa goes, it’s a bit early to say, but she’s shaping up to be a mama’s girl. I wonder if she’s walking yet…?”

“You’ll find out soon enough. And Bran spoke of another one?” There is a twinkle in his eyes.

“Yeah, she’s with child once more. It’s funny, right before I was pulled away Brienne spoke of having a feeling she won’t be on the island much longer, and she was right, though not in the way she imagined it to be. I’m glad she will once be able to experience a delivery with those actually trained for such things. It’s beyond a miracle she never lost any during the child births.”

“The Mother really was protecting you. All of you.”

“That she has.”

“I look forward to meeting them all. I really am glad that you are with us again.”

“Me too, me too.” The carriage begins to slow its speed and the driver, a young man with only fuzz upon his face and not a full beard, turns to face the occuments behind him.

“My apologies, but we need to stop and rest them for a spill.”

“Of course, and I suspect you could use some sleep yourself. Is there a place nearby for us all to slumber a short while?” 

“Ay, yes Ser. House Arryn approaches quite soon. We shall be welcome guests there.”

“Yes very good that shall work fine.”

“Wait House Arryn? Are you sure that’s a smart idea, Tyrion?” Jaime hisses.

“Why would it not?” He stares at his older brother for a few seconds, before shaking his head with a smirk.

“I keep forgetting that you are over ten years behind on everything. Maybe it shall be yourself and Brienne who struggle to readjust and not the children. Yes we shall be safe and welcome guests there and almost anywhere. It’s nice to live in the shadows is it not?”

“It’s something, I’ll give you that. Though apparently there are still those ready and willing to kill me and my blood, so maybe not everything is as perfect as you keep presenting it be.”

“Stop being so cynical, Jaime. We worked way too hard, sacrificed so many souls for this tranquility you constantly raise your nose at it.” Tyrion hisses, pointing a finger at his brother.

“My apologies. You are correct it shall take me a while to become accustomed to all. I will try harder and trust you.”

“That’ll be a first.” They both laugh, this time awaking Arthur.

“Are we home yet?” He mumbles, rubbing his eyes.

“Not yet my love, a few more days. Soon. I promise.” Arthur sighs, scrambling to sit up and leans into his father’s side. Home? Where exactly was home to be? The question had entered Jaime’s thoughts a few times, but he hadn't examined it in any detail. Would he return them to Kingslanding? Perhaps take resistance at Casterly Rock? Was it even still his and his family to claim ownership over? Or was that too another ghost of the past? Jaime knew that Brienne’s heart yearned and ached for Tarth. He, too missed where he grew up, adventurous youth, running around where he and his sister weren’t supposed to be, the vass history that he barely could handle the weight and pressure thrown onto his shoulders; yes it was home and full of memories, but when away from it he never ached for it. Not the way Brienne spoke of Tarth. Despite the teasing and abuse subjectgated to her from those in charge of her well being, her heart never turned black often her thoughts and words floated towards it. 

“I realize I have not inquired about Brienne’s father.” Jaime inquires as he lifts Arthur up his hip and departs the carriage upon its arrival for the evening and part of the early morning hours.

“What of him?”

“Well, does he still live?” An awkward question to ask, but needed. Tyrion nods.

“Yes, he’s still among the living.”

“That’s good. Brienne will be pleased to know this.’ Jaime nearly runs into his brother who had stopped abruptly in front of him, turning around and giving him a look. ‘What?”

“And are you pleased to know this?”

“Of course I am!”

“It was no secret the Evenstar was not pleased with your connection and grey shaded relationship with his only daughter. He neither trusted or liked you dear brother.” Jaime chuckles softly.

“You have a far greater chance of finding someone who did trust and like me.”

“True. Quite true. You however had to have known about the rumors of him hiring assassins? Everyone assumed that was the reason you insisted that she journey with you on that boat…”

“I don’t put a lot of faith in rumors. I simply wanted to get away for a few days. I felt she could use the break as well. I wasn’t running from anything or anyone.” Jaime spits out. 

“Perhaps. Still he never liked you and when his daughter went missing and was later presumed dead his anger for you grew.” It is now Jaime who stops, setting Arthur down.

“And now?”

“And now what?”

“Arg! Does he still hate me?” Tyrion laughs.

“How am I too know that? I am not the three eyed crow am I? I trust you’ll be fine. Bran would not have lead you this far just to have a grieving father take you out. And when he sees her again, meets his grandchildren most certainly not. No, I won’t worry about it.”

“Somehow that brings me little comfort.” He mumbles.

“I swear I don’t remember you being this...well weak willed and womanly. Now come on, I too am ready for a nice drink and a good slumber.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Epilogue. A few weeks later...

Jaime slips his hand into hers and gives it a tight squeeze. She was never one for the formal, prim and proper part of things and the years away from the responsibilities made the foul taste towards it grow far more. He turns to take a look upon her face and can’t help to sputter out a laugh.

“What?” She hisses, attempting to jerk her hand away.

“I’m sorry Wench, but it looks like you are about to barf. Please try to relax.”

“I don’t like…” Brienne sighs.

“You don’t like people?”

“No, I mean yes. No, I mean I don’t like…” She once more trails off. Jaime removes his hold of her, steps in front of her and gently cups her face, smiling softly.

“I know. I know. You have struggled with any sort of attention, mainly for pressure and idiocy of those surrounding you. For that I am sorry. I promise you though I’ll be with you every step. Now and forever.’ It is her who laughs this time. ‘Yes?”

“I sincerely hope you’ll be with me every step, especially today today. It’s quite difficult to marry someone if that someone isn’t there!”

“You make a good point, Wench. It took us a long and complicated journey to get here, but I did promise to make you an honest woman!”

“Jaime, it’s alright. You don’t have to marry me.”

“But I got a new suit and everything! I mean don’t I look good?” He winks at her.

“After wearing the same three shirts over and over anything and everything looks good on you. It is I who still looks like a freak in a gown.” He leans in and kisses her softly.

“Shush. You look beautiful. I love you. I want to have you as my wife. I want to thank the Seven for keeping us alive. Thank them for allowing us to have each other. But if you don’t want the fancy ceremony that is waiting behind those doors, if you rather me sneak in, grab the children, the Maester and have a private joining right here I will. Brienne, I want you to be happy.” She jerks away and sniffles.

“I am happy. And I know these things’ She gestures at the doors ‘Are important to you…”

“I keep telling you, they are not. I just want to marry you! It was your father, my brother, and soon half of Tarth who created this monster.’ He chuckles, shaking his head ‘I never thought that once I left the island I’d miss it. Or rather the damn privacy of it.”

“No arguments from me, but I think it be a shame not to allow them to have this. Plus I know the children are quite excited about it. As am I; despite the nerves. You, Jaime Lannister are my entire world. I have loved you longer than you’ll ever know, you were maimed for me, stood beside me after I tricked you and brought you to the creature who was Lady Catelyn, you helped me survive and thrive on a desert island, we bore, and grieved for children. And I really want the world to understand how important you are to me. To do that though a ceremony in the hallway will not cut it. Now come on, they soon are gonna release a search party for us.”

“Meh. The last search party failed, so I don’t put push faith in them anymore.” Brienne playfully swats his arm. 

“Jaime?” Her voice is low.

“Brienne?”

“What if it hadn’t failed? What if we had been saved weeks after the crash?”

“What do you mean?” She sighs.

“I mean, would we be marrying? Would you be the father of my children? Would I even matter to you?”

“You, Brienne Of Tarth, will always matter to me. Never forget that. For the rest...the sad reality is no. Though take comfort in the fact, at least according to Bran if I were here and not on the island I would have died a long time ago. And you’d have found another guy, though of course nowhere near as wonderful and handsome as I’ Brienne rolls her eyes with a smirk ‘and would have married him. Maybe that Hyle guy?”

“Hyle Hunt?! Gods, that’s a name I haven’t thought of in years! For the record, no.”

“Oddly enough that’s a comfort to hear. In all seriousness, as I keep telling you life has lead and guided us in ways we needed, and I don’t like thinking of what ifs and could have beens. I am just grateful you are by my side, Wench.”

“As am I…’ The door cracks open and Galladon peaks his head out.

“Um guys are you coming or not”

“Of course.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The End. Sorry for the awkward and fizzle of an ending. My muse was struggling too much and I was ready to just have an ending. I hope it was at least decent of a story overall. Thank you for reading!


End file.
